I Want the Whole World to Know
by wild-angel82
Summary: Emily loves JJ. JJ loves Emily. The only problem is that JJ is not ready to tell the world about it and Emily can’t stand keeping it a secret anymore. JJ/Emily femslash.
1. Chapter 1

Title: I Want the Whole World to Know

Pairing: JJ/Emily

Summary: Emily loves JJ. JJ loves Emily. The only problem is that JJ is not ready to tell the world about it and Emily can't stand keeping it a secret anymore. JJ/Emily femslash.

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own Criminal Minds. I wish I did, though.

A/N: This is yet another thing that I wanted to get out of my system before I get into my next lengthy story. It's only going to be 4 chapters and I hope you enjoy!

**Chapter 1**

"You can't mean that, Emily!" JJ looked at the brunette utterly terrified at what she had just told her. She couldn't believe that Emily would ever… She couldn't believe Emily was doing this.

"Yes I do!" Emily insisted, hurt so apparent in her eyes that it almost made JJ's heart stop. "I mean it like I've never meant anything in my entire life."

"You're serious?" JJ asked, still a little incredulously. You wanna break up?"

"I don't _want_ to break up." Emily whispered, stressing the word, in a way making it clear to the blonde that this wasn't really about what she wanted. "You know that's the last thing I want. I just can't do this anymore, JJ." She finished and as JJ looked into Emily's eyes, she knew that this time Emily wasn't joking.

"Em, please…" JJ begged, her eyes now slowly filling with tears, but deep down she knew that it was not going to work. She could see in Emily's eyes that this time it was not going to work. The pleas, the begging, they were not going to work, because Emily had had enough. JJ took a step closer towards Emily and took the brunette's hand in hers, but she could feel Emily taking the hand away.

_No physical contact_, Emily told herself. _No physical contact or you won't be able to do this_.

"No! Don't you _Em, please_ me! I have given you all the time that I thought you needed, but I just can't do this anymore, JJ. It's too damn hard." Emily said and JJ knew that what she was asking of Emily was difficult, she just never realized how difficult.

"You know that it's complicated for me…" She started, but Emily wouldn't let her finish.

"I know that. Don't you think I know that? I know that the feelings you have for me have taken you by surprise. I know that it freaked you out and I know how hard it was for you to give in to those feelings. I know all that!" Emily paused to take a deep breath and she just gazed at JJ for a moment. "And I understand the reasons you wanted to keep this _thing_ between us a secret…" And she really did understand. She knew the feelings JJ started having for her terrified her and she understood when JJ asked her for more time to sort things out. But she had had enough and there was no way she could go on like this. "But that's the problem – what is happening between us is no longer a _thing_. I'm in love with you damn it and I can't keep living my life pretending that I'm not! I gave you eight fucking months, but I just can't do it anymore! I can't or it's going to kill me!" Emily exclaimed and she could see that it only brought more tears to JJ's eyes. She hated that she was making the blonde cry, but she just couldn't pretend that everything was OK when she was asked to lie to everyone about the best damn thing that had ever happened to her.

"It's not that easy, Emily… I can't just…"

"You can't what? Tell everyone that you're getting it on with a woman? You're so fucking focused on what everyone else will think of you that you can't even see what you're doing to me." Emily explained, trying to hold back tears, almost surprised that she had allowed herself to be that open with JJ. She never liked letting people see her hurt or vulnerable, but she felt like this was the only way she could get through to JJ. This was not the time to play games, she needed JJ to know how she felt.

"Em, you know that what we have is very important to me, you know that!" JJ cried, trying so desperately to think of more things to say, things that would make Emily understand.

"And just what it is that you think we have?" Emily asked, somewhat bluntly. "We meet at your place or mine, almost always after dark, sometimes we eat food, we fuck…"

"Don't call it that!" JJ cut her off at hearing the f word. This surely couldn't be the way Emily really saw them having sex. "That's not what we do and you know it!"

"Because I don't need a freakin' fuck buddy, JJ! I don't want to be your fuckin' booty call whenever you want to pass the time. I want a relationship with you! I want a life with you and I have always made it pretty damn clear. No matter how much everything inside me told me not to, I was always clear about my feelings. But you… I just don't know…" She paused for a moment before she asked the next question. "Do you even need me for anything other than to get you off? Because if that's what it is then I'm sure you can find someone else to do the job!"

"Please don't say that!" JJ cried and Emily almost broke seeing her lover like this, but she had decided that she was going to be strong, because she couldn't continue being with JJ on JJ's terms. Not anymore. And she knew those last statements were a low blow, she knew it. And they were hurtful. And she almost hated herself for saying those things, because she knew what she and JJ had was more than just sex, a lot more. And even though JJ wasn't ready to tell people about their relationship, or whatever it could be called, Emily knew that the blonde felt something for her and that her feelings were strong. But Emily was just so damn tired of sneaking around and pretending that she and JJ were simply colleagues when the truth was that they were so much more.

"I'm sorry." Emily finally said after a moment, because she knew she had gone too far. She didn't want to give JJ mixed signals by professing her love and then demoting their relationship to a booty call. This conversation was about explaining to JJ why she couldn't live like this anymore.

"You know I love you." JJ whispered after a few moments of silence, looking at Emily intently, as if trying to convince her just by looking at her.

"Which is why it hurts so much." Emily explained, no longer being able to hold back her tears. "Because sometimes when I look at you, I can see that you really do love me, that you have these amazing feelings for me. I know you do, I know and I'm sorry for what I said before… I'm just tired of trying so hard to keep this relationship a secret and I can't do this anymore. I love you and I want us to be together more than anything, but not like _this_. Not when you make me feel like we're doing something wrong, like we're cheating on someone. We're two otherwise unattached adults who supposedly love each other, so why does it feel like we're having an affair or something? Unless you really do feel like we're doing something wrong..."

"God, Emily, you know that's not how I feel about this."

"I just don't know, JJ. I really don't know anymore what you feel. But I do know that I can't take this anymore. I thought I could do this, you know? Just be with you without anyone else knowing… But I can't. Because I love you and you make me happy. I'm never more at peace with myself than when I am with you. And I don't want this to be a secret."

"I feel the same way about you, Emily, I do." JJ whispered through tears, running her hand through Emily's hair, like she had done so many times before. She could feel the brunette tremble at her touch, but she soon realized that Emily took a small step back.

"But you're just not ready to let the world see your feelings, right?" Emily asked, almost sarcastically, as she looked into JJ's eyes and what she saw only confirmed what she knew deep down. "Well I do! I want the whole world to know how much I love you and how happy we are together. I wanna be able to take you on a real date. I wanna take you for a romantic getaway and not have to pretend that we're just friends who are sharing a hotel room!" Emily pointed out and looked JJ directly in the eye, which made JJ shiver. "And when people ask me or hit on me or whatever, I wanna tell them that I'm taken and that I'm in love with the most amazing woman in the world and her name is Jennifer freakin' Jareau! But I can't do that, because you won't let me! Because you'd rather lie to yourself and everybody else than let yourself be truly happy. And I wanna be the one to make you happy, more than anything, but I want a _real _relationship. I want you to be mine, really mine, not just in the confinement of our apartments. And until this is what you want too, we can't be together." Emily finally finished and looked at JJ meaningfully, trying to let her know that she meant it.

"Emily, please don't do this." JJ begged teary-eyed. "I love you. I love you so much." She cried as she took a step forward and quickly captured Emily's lips with hers. And it scared her when she felt Emily pulling away.

"No." Emily protested through tears. "You don't get to kiss me and hope that it's going to make it all better. Because it's not, it's not!" She insisted. "'Cause every time you kiss me, you remind me of the way I feel about you and right now, that's one thing I just don't wanna remember." She took a deep breath and looked into JJ's eyes one last time. "So there, take _all_ the time you need to figure this out, but don't you dare come to me until you are ready to be grown up about our relationship." Emily took another quick pause and gathered her thoughts. "Or if you're never gonna be ready, just tell me and don't waste my fuckin' time." Emily finished and stealing one last glance at the media liaison, she stormed out of JJ's apartment, leaving a terrified and shivering Jennifer Jareau in the middle of her living room.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Some more angst in this one. What can I say, I can't help it :D

**Chapter 2**

Emily ran out of JJ's apartment building as fast as she could, scared that if she didn't run far far away in a span of a few seconds, she was going to turn around, go back, take JJ in her arms and forget about the whole conversation. She knew that this was definitely a possibility, so she needed to get out of there as soon as possible. Stupidly, she thought that if she found herself far away from JJ, all of that was going to hurt less. But she knew it wasn't and she knew she was going to have to see JJ the next day at work. She knew that it was going to kill her, but she just had to do what she did tonight.

Emily got into her car and started the engine. This was certainly going to help her get even further away from JJ's apartment, although where she wanted to go she had no idea.

Everything she told JJ a few minutes ago was the truth. She was so in love with the blonde agent that sometimes it shocked her how much you can want or need someone. And she needed JJ almost like she needed the air to breathe, but she also needed to be able to tell everyone how amazing JJ made her feel. And at first she thought that having JJ to herself in secret would be enough, because all it mattered was that JJ was with her and loved her. And for a while this was indeed all she needed, but the harder she fell for the blonde liaison, the more she started realizing that the nights spent together in secrecy just weren't enough. Yes, the times they spent together were amazing and she cherished every second she spent alone with JJ, no matter what they did, but after a while she just wanted to have a real life with the blonde. Emily loved Jennifer Jareau and she had no doubt that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with the media liaison, but she wasn't going to live the rest of her life feeling like JJ was too ashamed or too scared to let people know what she really felt. And Emily didn't know if JJ was ever going to be ready to be honest with people about her feelings, but she knew that she couldn't be with the blonde the way they had been together up until now. This was not the life she wanted and she decided that either she got what she really wants or she wouldn't have anything at all. But it was still better than a constant reminder of the life she wanted everyone to know about and the life JJ tried so desperately to hide.

Emily soon realized that she had been driving aimlessly around town for about twenty minutes. She felt trapped alone with her own thoughts, but somehow she felt like driving around was less painful than being in her apartment, so she continued to blaze new trails, roads she had never been on before, until she almost forgot what she had just done. Almost.

***

JJ looked around her living room, as if not really believing that Emily was indeed gone and this time she was never coming back. JJ could still feel Emily's scent linger in the room and she could still feel the touch of Emily's lips on hers, even though Emily pulled away from the kiss. And JJ could still feel Emily's eyes on her, pain and disappointment oozing from them. Pain and disappointment that she knew she had caused.

And she hated herself, because hurting Emily was the last thing she wanted. She was deeply in love with the brunette, she knew this much, but she wasn't sure if she was ready for the whole world to know that she was gay, if that was even what she was. She had always considered herself to be straight, but now she wondered if that was really the case or if she thought she was straight, because she was supposed to be. Because truth be told, she had never felt for anyone what she felt for Emily. No one had ever been able to ignite this much passion in her, no one had ever understood her the way Emily did. And no one had ever made her feel as safe as Emily did. Which was ironic, considering their line of work, but whenever JJ was in Emily's arms, she felt content and safe. She felt like no evil could ever touch her. And she wanted to feel this way forever, with Emily's arms around her and Emily's breath on her body. And if that made her gay then maybe she was. She no longer knew and she didn't even know if she cared. All she knew was that she loved Emily and the idea of not having the brunette in her life absolutely terrified her.

JJ knew that what she was asking Emily to do was hurting the brunette and deep down JJ knew that sooner or later Emily would want more. More than just secret rendezvous and stolen glances. More than a few moments spent together far away from anyone who could possibly know who either of them were. And JJ knew it was unfair to ask Emily to continue like this, it was unfair and it was cruel and JJ knew that. But she also knew that she couldn't possibly survive without Emily, because Emily was her world, she really was. And she loved her job, she knew the BAU was doing really great things, but none of it mattered if she couldn't share it with Emily. And not just Emily the kick-ass FBI agent and her co-worker, but Emily the most extraordinary person in the world who would have coffee ready for her every morning or cover her with a blanket whenever she fell asleep in front of the TV. She wanted that Emily to be a part of her life and she hated herself for being such a damn coward.

Knowing that she wouldn't do anything productive that evening anyway, JJ decided to take a shower and go to bed. When she stepped onto the shower cabin and she felt the water on her body, she prayed that it would wash away the horrible memories of Emily leaving, while at the same time knowing that nothing could erase those memories. Nothing could erase the emptiness she felt inside at the thought of never waking up in Emily's arms again.

The shower took her about fifteen minutes and when she was done, she dried herself quickly with a towel and put on her sweatpants and a T-shirt that were currently her pajamas.

She made her way to the bedroom and crawled into bed, realizing how empty it was without Emily waiting there for her. She put the sheets on herself and kept staring at the pillow next to hers, as if believing that if she stared hard enough, Emily was suddenly magically going to appear next to her. But she knew it wasn't going to happen and it made her wanna scream in anger. Because she was the reason Emily wasn't there, she was the reason Emily felt like she couldn't be with her. And being with Emily was the only thing JJ really wanted and as she lied alone in her bed, longing for Emily's soft touch, she prayed to God that she would have enough guts to stop giving a damn about what the world thought of her and start doing what made her happy.

***

When Emily woke up the next morning, she knew that this was going to be one of the most difficult days in her entire life. And it was weird to her, because she chased serial killers for a living, so nothing should be scarier than what some of the killers do to people, yet the thought of facing a certain blue-eyed, blonde-haired media liaison made Emily Prentiss absolutely terrified. She was scared because she knew that so often all JJ had to do was bat her eyelashes to get anything she wanted, but Emily vowed that it wasn't going to happen this time. No matter how much JJ was going to beg and plead, Emily decided she wasn't going to give in. She wasn't going to get lost in those blue eyes and forget what her own freakin' name was.

When she got to the BAU, she was informed by Derek that her presence was requested in the conference room in about ten minutes. Apparently they had a new case and JJ wanted to brief everybody. That gave her just enough time to grab her coffee and mentally prepare herself for facing JJ. As much as she could prepare herself of course.

When she got to the conference room, everyone else was already there, and since she was the last one to go in, it was hard for JJ not to notice her entrance. She could see JJ's eyes on her for a second, before the blonde turned to the screen which contained pictures of victims of three home invasions in a small town somewhere in Nevada. For a moment Emily studied JJ and her body language, but to her surprise and relief she realized that the blonde was being absolutely professional and focusing on presenting the case as best as she could. Which is what Emily decided to do as well, because there were people that needed their help and as much as it hurt to think about what had happened between her and JJ, Emily knew they had to give their 100% to catching the killer.

"Local authorities requested our presence and we were promised that they were going to do everything in their power to help us out." JJ finished, after she presented the details of the case to the rest of the team. She was so relieved she managed to squash the emotions swirling around inside her head and she managed to remain professional enough to present the case. She vowed that she wasn't going to screw up another part of her life.

"Alright, wheels up in thirty." Hotch ordered and everyone started leaving the conference room.

"Hey Emily?" JJ called out when she saw that Emily was the last one at the door, hoping that she could maybe talk to her for a while, although truth be told she had no idea whatsoever what she wanted to say.

"Don't." Emily said firmly, loud enough for JJ to realize how serious she was about this, while at the same time trying to avoid being overheard. "Whatever it is that you wanna tell me, I don't wanna hear it." She said walking out of the door. And she really didn't. She couldn't risk JJ looking at her or touching her the way that was going to make her lose control again and give in to her feelings. No, she was going to bury those feelings until JJ realized that what they had together was something that doesn't happen often and something that should be shared with friends and family.

JJ watched Emily walk away and she knew she couldn't really blame her for acting like this. JJ knew Emily loved her, there was no doubt about it, but she also knew that it hurt Emily to be in the same room with her and she didn't want to make things any more complicated. Except that things really weren't that complicated. Emily loved her and she loved Emily. And apart from the 'no fraternizing between co-workers' deal, there was really no reason why they couldn't be together. And JJ couldn't lie to herself, this so wasn't the reason she was afraid to tell everyone about the relationship. Yes, she loved the BAU and she cared about her career, but she loved Emily too and she wanted to be with her. Then why the hell couldn't she just forget about everything else and focus on what really matters – her and Emily and the amazing connection that they have.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 **

The flight to Elko, Nevada was going to be one of the longest they'd had in probably half a year. JJ secretly cursed herself for choosing a case that would require sitting in the confinement of the plane for five freaking hours, but then again when she chose this case, she had no idea things were going to be this intense between her and Emily.

JJ took her seat and she noticed that Emily made a point of taking a seat that was the furthest away from hers. It almost made her angry, but she tried her best to understand. It was really hard, though, knowing how much Emily was trying to avoid her. Normally they would sit on the plane together and talk about different things. Usually mostly the case, but sometimes they would cover other topics as well once all case-related issues have been discussed. JJ didn't really realize how much those conversations meant to her until Emily decided that she's rather stare out the window than talk to her. And a part of JJ understood that, because things were really weird between the two of them, but she missed Emily so much. It had only been about half an hour since the takeoff, but Emily didn't speak one single word to her, and it was driving JJ crazy. The only time when Emily found herself in the proximity of the liaison was when the team was discussing the case for about two hours and even then she refused to look directly at JJ and when she spoke, she addressed everybody, not just JJ, and it was killing the blonde. She knew that this was Emily's way of dealing with the situation and she couldn't really blame her for acting like this, but the brunette had never been this cold towards her and it scared her. It absolutely terrified her.

When they finally got to Elko, they were greeted by the representatives of local police department and taken to the town's police station. They spent about an hour discussing the case with local officers, trying to see if there was something they had missed from the original files they had. When they finally had all the information they needed, Hotch assigned everybody their tasks and they agreed to meet at the station a couple of hours later.

JJ was relieved she wasn't assigned any tasks that involved interacting with Emily, because as much as she wanted to remain professional, she knew it would have been really hard. So she breathed a sigh of relief when she learned that Emily was going to be visiting crime scenes with Rossi and her task was to interview a couple of witnesses with Reid and then prepare to face the media in the evening.

She watched Emily and Rossi leave the station and she couldn't help but think how under normal circumstances she would be looking forward to seeing Emily later in the day and comparing notes, but now she was glad she wouldn't have to face the ice cold look in Emily's eyes for at least a couple more hours.

"Everything OK?" She suddenly heard Reid's voice and saw the young doctor when she turned around.

"Yeah, why?" She asked bluntly, cursing herself for allowing her feelings to be so transparent. That was the absolutely last thing that she wanted.

"I don't know…" Reid said confused. "You seem kind of off." He finally added and looked at her intently.

"Everything's fine." She quickly replied, trying to appear normal. "I just didn't get much sleep last night, that's all."

"Well, I hope you feel better soon." He smiled at her, deciding not to bother her with any more questions. "Are you ready to roll?"

"Yeah." She smiled back as she gathered a couple of her things and the and Reid left the station.

The day wasn't very eventful, which was to be expected, because the first day on any case was usually just reconnaissance and it wasn't often that things really picked up on the first day. JJ knew they got some interesting information from the crime scenes and she knew Garcia was working her magic on some background checks, but other than that they didn't have much to go on. But she knew things were bound to get better, so she wasn't really worried.

In the evening everyone met back at the station to start working on an initial profile, which they delivered to the local police. Soon after JJ took a couple of minutes to talk to the media, while the rest of the team worked on a game plan for the next day. They didn't even notice when the dusk crept in on them, at which point they decided to call it a day.

When JJ was finally done talking to the media, she realized that the only BAU members still left at the station were her and Reid, which was fine with her, because it was going to make the ride to the hotel a little easier. She knew he wasn't going to ask any unnecessary questions or bother her. And most of all, he wasn't Emily, facing who was so difficult for JJ now.

The ride took about ten minutes and JJ was happy to finally find herself in the comforts of her hotel room, knowing that she could now get some rest. She sprawled herself on the bed, hoping she could regenerate a little before having to take a shower. She didn't feel like going to bed just yet, but she thought she at least needed a nice nap.

But it didn't take her long to realize that there was no way she would be able to fall asleep. There were too many thoughts running through her head and she suddenly felt like she needed some fresh air. At first she simply opened the window, but when she realized it wasn't enough, she decided to go for a little walk before she went to bed. She took her keycard and her cell phone and left the room.

As soon as she stepped onto the hotel patio, she realized that she wasn't the only one who had the idea to clear her head. And even though the person already on the patio had her back turned to JJ, it only took her a second to recognize Emily. For a moment she pondered whether she should maybe just go back to the hotel, but then she figured that she wasn't going to run away.

"I can see that a breath of fresh air before bed still works for you too." JJ said softly and could see Emily turning around, a little startled. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." JJ added seeing the expression on Emily's face.

"It's OK, you didn't." Emily replied, her voice barely a whisper, because seeing JJ in the moonlight almost took all her strength away. "What are you doing here?"

"The same thing you are, I guess." JJ explained with a weak smile. "I was getting a little restless and I needed to clear my head."

"Yeah." Emily agreed and for a moment there was complete silence, because neither of them knew what they were supposed to say.

JJ was the first one to break the silence, "You know, when you said that you can't be with me, I didn't realize it entailed not talking to me at all." JJ sighed. "You barely said a word to me the entire day."

"Damn it, JJ, and just what do you think I did mean when I told you I couldn't be with you?" JJ could see that Emily was becoming angry. "That we could just go on like we did before except that we wouldn't be having sex? You know that's not how it works! And yeah, I haven't really spoken to you the entire day, because speaking to you actually requires looking at you. And looking at you reminds me of everything that was between us and…"

"_Was_?" JJ looked at Emily meaningfully, hurt clearly visible in her eyes. How could Emily be referring to their relationship in past tense? Or maybe it wasn't such a stretch, considering where things between them were at the moment.

"Just don't, JJ." Emily simply said and JJ didn't say another word. "I really do believe that me not talking to you more than necessary is not compromising the case, so please just don't make me look at you and remember how much it hurts to not be with you." Emily finished and abruptly walked past JJ only to disappear inside the hotel. JJ sighed deeply as she buried her face in her. She knew she and Emily just couldn't go on like this.

***

Solving the case in Elko took them three days, but they finally caught the couple who had been terrorizing the town for the last couple of weeks. Local authorities were very grateful and the BAU team felt that they had done yet another good deed.

JJ found it extremely hard not to interact with Emily during those three days, but she decided to give Emily her space and let the brunette deal with it the way she needed. JJ knew she couldn't give Emily what she really needed, and the last thing she wanted was to cause Emily any more pain. So she did her best to just suck it up and stay out of Emily's way, trying not to compromise the investigation in the process.

The flight back was extremely tiring and almost all of them slept through it. When they landed in Quantico, Hotch told the team to take the upcoming weekend off, but be there the next day, which was Friday, to take care of some paperwork before they left the office for two days. The prospect of not having to deal with another psycho killer for at least a couple of days was happily welcomed by the entire team. The Elko case had been a hard one and they knew they could use a couple of days to regenerate.

***

When the BAU team arrived to the office on Friday, they were surprised to find a memo from JJ telling them to be in the conference room at 10am.

"Do you have any idea what it's about?" Derek asked Hotch as they were making their way into the conference room. "Do we have a new case? I thought we were getting the weekend off?"

"I haven't heard anything about a new case, but I guess it could be some last minute thing. We've had those before."

"Yeah, I guess." Derek sighed as they went into the conference room. Emily, Rossi and Reid were already there, as was Garcia, which surprised all of them, because it wasn't often that the computer goddess joined them for a briefing.

"What's up, JJ?" Hotch asked taking his seat. "A new case?"

"Not exactly." JJ replied slowly and a little hesitantly. "And I'm sorry I am taking the time off your busy schedules for this, but there is something I need you guys to know." She said and they all could see how nervous she was. It was surprising, because she never got nervous speaking in front of people, especially in front of them. There was always some sort of tension when she spoke, due to the nature of the information she was usually conveying, but she had never been just simply nervous. Which seemed to be the case now, because she was taking deep breaths and fidgeting with the pen she was holding in her hand. They knew something was definitely up with Jennifer Jareau.

"What is it, honey?" Garcia suddenly asked, becoming a little worried about her friend as she watched the liaison getting more and more uncomfortable. This was so unlike her.

"I need to tell you something that will no doubt affect the team and maybe some of you personally, but hopefully in a good way. I have thought long and hard about it and I'm scared of what the ramifications of what I'm about to say might be, but I just can't keep it a secret any longer.

"Damn it, just spit it out, JJ!" JJ heard Emily exclaim and she couldn't help but feel how ironic it was that Emily was the one urging her to just suck it up and say it, even though the brunette had no idea what this was all about.

JJ looked into Emily's eyes for a moment and when she looked away, she finally heard the words torpedo out of her mouth, "I'm in love with Emily."

Jaws dropped, eyes got wider and a certain brunette suddenly felt like oxygen was really scarce in the conference room.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Well, this is the last chapter. I hope you enjoyed this short story and you'll stay tuned for my next effort :D Thanks for reading!!

**Chapter 4**

For a moment there was complete silence in the conference room, as everyone was trying to digest the information that had just been shared with them. JJ knew that dropping a bombshell like that on her co-workers was not going to be appreciated by them, but she had to get it out, because it was killing her to be without Emily.

When the members of the team decided that they must have heard JJ wrong, for a short moment they just looked at the media liaison incredulously, until Garcia spoke, "You're in love with Emily? _Our _Emily?" She asked, looking at her friend a little shocked and a little concerned.

"Yes, _our _Emily." JJ confirmed, looking at Emily affectionately and then turning her eyes back to the rest of the team. "I have been in love with Emily for quite a while now. And for some time I couldn't even admit it to myself, because I was so freaked out about having romantic feelings for a woman. And I'm sorry to be dumping this one you, but you guys are like my family and this affects the team and I just needed you to know." She took a moment to breathe before she continued. "Emily and I had been together for over 8 months until she broke it off, because I had been too damn scared to admit to anyone how I really feel about her. During the time we were together we both were doing a pretty damn good job, even when we fought, so I truly wholeheartedly believe that our being together did not compromise our work. And even during the time we were broken up, we still kicked ass. We were not really speaking, but we still kicked ass." JJ said and she could see Emily chuckling at her statement. It was so good to see Emily laugh. "So I believe Emily and I can make it work, I really do. And you guys know how much I care about this job and about what we do, and I would never do anything to compromise that. But I love Emily. I love her so much that I can't get through the day without thinking about her." JJ was now looking Emily directly in the eye, and even though she knew the rest of the team was still there, she needed to get this out. "Because Emily made me happy, happier than I had ever been in my entire life. When we were together, it felt like everything was right with the universe. And I don't know how she did that, but she made me feel safe and secure and at peace and I miss that. I miss _her_." JJ looked at Emily and she could see hoe emotional the brunette was getting. "And I want her back in my life. And this time I want everyone to know that I am completely and hopelessly in love with her and it physically hurts me to not have her with me the way we used to be. So if she wants me to, I will scream from the rooftops how much I love her if that's what it takes for her to take me back." JJ finally finished, realizing that she really didn't want to say anything more in front of the entire team.

She was trying really hard to hold back her tears and it almost scared all of them to see her so emotional. They were certainly not used to seeing JJ like this, but each of them knew that when love was involved, reason really didn't play a huge role.

"I'm a freakin' communications liaison, so there, I communicated." She said with a small laugh. "Probably a little more than you all wanted to hear, but there it is. I'm done now." She added, relieved that she managed to convey everything she wanted to say.

Hotch knew that they were going to have to talk about it, but he also knew that right now JJ needed to talk to Emily alone. It was so obvious from the way they kept looking at each other that they had so much to say to each other, so much to explain and he certainly wasn't going to be the one to stand in the way. So he slowly stood up and silently made his way out of the conference room, the rest of the team soon followed suit, leaving only JJ and Emily in the room.

When the door closed behind their colleagues, Emily kept studying JJ intently and soon realized that JJ almost found it difficult to breathe. She could see the blonde breathing heavily and she knew how difficult it must have been for her to do that. But she did. She admitted in front of the entire team that she loved her, and that was certainly a good start. Not quite what she had in mind when she kept telling JJ that they needed to tell people, but she figured it would do. A part of her was a little mad at herself for driving JJ to do something like that, but the bigger part just could no longer be OK with having JJ as her secret girlfriend. She wanted the real deal with the blonde and when she looked at JJ standing in front of the screen, for the first time she thought that maybe it was what JJ wanted as well.

"That was quite a speech." Emily finally said standing up, a little hesitantly, since she didn't really know how to proceed. She could see the blonde smiling at her, still a little astonished by the words that had just come out of her mouth a couple of minutes ago. Not that they weren't true, but she surprised herself at how eager she was to let everyone know how much she loved Emily.

"Well I meant it." JJ made it a point to look Emily directly in the eye. "I want you back in my life. I want us to be us again. It's only been a couple of days, Em, but I can't stand it. I don't ever wanna go to sleep or wake up alone. And I don't ever want us to be the way we have been in the last couple of days. And if you want, I'll tell every damn person on the planet that I'm in love with you." JJ whispered and Emily could see that she meant it. She took one step closer towards the blonde, seeing how nervous she was becoming again. "I'm sorry for the way I chose to inform everybody about this… us…" JJ continued with her heart pounding, "I just couldn't wait any longer, because every second apart from you hurt so badly. And I don't ever wanna see you look at me like you're having doubts about my feelings for you. That's the way you looked at me in the last couple of days and I don't ever wanna see that look in your eyes again. And I just don't want…" JJ continued her heartfelt confession, but apparently Emily didn't need to hear any more. She just needed to feel the blonde again. And with that realization she crashed her lips onto JJ's, because it had been too long since she felt that sweet taste. As soon as their lips met, Emily pulled JJ into a gentle embrace and she could feel the blonde shivering, still a little freaked out about her admission a couple of minutes ago. But she reciprocated the kiss, burying her hands in Emily's hair, almost taken aback how amazing it felt to be in Emily's arms again.

"I don't care how you told them." Emily whispered when they broke apart to breathe. "I'm just glad you did. And I'm sorry sort of bullied you into doing that…"

"No, don't, Em." JJ cut her short "Don't apologize. You didn't bully me into doing anything. It was wrong and unfair for me to ask you to pretend like we don't mean anything more to each other than just friends or colleagues. Because what we have is beautiful and amazing and I really do want to share my happiness with everyone. I do." JJ affectionately caressed Emily's cheek and smiled at the brunette gently. "I don't wanna give up the best thing that's ever happened to me just because I'm scared of the way people are going o react or whatever it really is that I'm scared of, because honestly I don't think I even know anymore. But I do know that I don't wanna face another day without you or knowing that I'm hurting you. Because that's the last thing I wanna do, you have to believe me."

"I do. I do believe you, JJ. And I never doubted for a second that you love me, contrary to what I might have said to you, which by the way I'm sorry about." Emily said, referring to their break-up conversation a couple of days ago. "I just couldn't…"

"I know." JJ whispered, running her fingers gently on Emily's lips. "I know. But I think I took a step in the right direction to show you that I no longer wanna keep hurting you that way." JJ looked at Emily with so much hope in her eyes and Emily just melted.

"Definitely the right direction." Emily laughed as she leaned in for another kiss. It had only been a couple of days since they last kissed before that morning, but to Emily it felt like forever. It took all the strength in her not to give in to her feelings for JJ in the last could days and she was extremely relieved she didn't have to stay away from the blonde anymore. It was too damn hard and truth be told, she had no idea how she was going to do it in the long run. But now she didn't have to, because JJ had just told everyone about them and now the blonde was in her arms, telling her she loved her, and Emily felt like things were finally on their way to being the way they were supposed to be.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to see what you knew all along." JJ suddenly started, still guilty over how much she had hurt Emily.

"Which is?"

"That we deserve a life together." She smiled and she took Emily's face in her hands. "A real life together. I want that, Emily, more than anything." JJ closed the gap between their lips for the third time that morning. "I love you."

"I love you too, but I guess you already know that." Emily smiled back at the blonde and saw her nodding happily. "Good."

"So what do we do now?"

"How about what regular couples do?" Emily suggested. "Dinner tonight? You know, in public? Like a date?" Emily proposed, praying to God that the she was going to like the answer she hears.

"I'd love that." JJ agreed, a wide smile spreading across her face. "I would be honored to go on a date with you, Emily Prentiss."

"OK then." Emily's heart was racing as she took JJ's hand and pulled the blonde in for another kiss. "Pick you up at 7?"

"I will be waiting." JJ grinned and she realized she hadn't looked forward to anything in a long time as much as she was looking forwards to her date with Emily.

"You wanna go by Hotch's office?" Emily suggested with an apparent grimace on her face.

"_Want_? Not so much." JJ laughed. "But after my performance this morning, I believe I owe him this much. And I'd rather get this over with now."

"Let's go then." Emily said and the two of them made their way to their boss's office. They knocked and after hearing a short 'Come in' they entered.

"Hey, we figured you'd have something to say to us."

"As a matter of fact yes I do." He said firmly, but his tone wasn't hostile, so the two female agents hoped that maybe it wasn't going to be that bad. "Sit down." He asked and Emily and JJ made their way towards his desk and took their seats. "Look, I could lecture you on how fraternizing between the agents is frowned upon and how it could compromise the team and our job… But the truth is that in the past few months both of you have been at the top of your game as far as the job is concerned, and if you plan on carrying on this way, I personally see no problem with the two of you dating. It is your choice and your responsibility to make it work and I will make sure no one other than you has any say in this. Deal?"

Both Emily and JJ sighed deep sighs of relief and Hotch could hear them say almost simultaneously 'Yes sir" before standing up and walking towards the door.

"See you on Monday?" JJ started. "Unless there is something else you need us for?"

"No, Monday will be fine." Hotch smiled and watch the women leave.

Once in the hallway, JJ motioned for Emily to follow her into her office. She wanted to continue their conversation, but somehow she doubted that the BAU hallway was the best place to do that.

When they entered JJ's office, Emily looked at JJ meaningfully and asked, "OK, now that the whole fraternizing issue is settled, are you sure you still wanna do this?"

"Do what?" JJ asked, a little surprised. "Be with the most amazing woman in the world?" She gently took Emily's hand in hers. "Yeah, I think I do." She smiled and was surprised to feel Emily tremble a little at her touch. "I've been keeping you this secret long enough and it's time I bragged a little about this kick-ass FBI agent that I'm dating."

"Are you now?" Emily grinned flirtatiously. "Do I know her?"

"I don't know, you might." JJ cocked her eyebrows as she put her arms around Emily's neck. "She's beautiful, so beautiful that she takes your breath away. And she has the most captivating eyes, ones that you can look into and completely get lost in them. And her smile makes your heart stop. And she is caring and compassionate and she always knows how to make you feel better. And when she tells you that she loves you and that she believes in you, you really feel like you can do anything." JJ stopped for a moment and she could see that Emily was becoming a little emotional, but she decided to continue. "And when she kisses you, you feel like the whole world ceases to exist, because when you feel her arms around you, nothing else matters."

"Like this?" Emily finally closed the gap between her and JJ's lips in a kiss that she had been longing for ever since they entered JJ's office. JJ allowed herself to relax completely when she felt Emily's hands on her back and Emily's tongue slowly entering her mouth when the kiss was becoming more and more passionate.

"Yeah, like this." JJ whispered panting, as the two of them broke apart once the lack of oxygen became an issue. "Exactly like this."

"She seems like a real catch." Emily teased, a wide smile on her face, as she ran her left hand through JJ's hair.

"She is." JJ grinned as she looked at the amazing woman in front of her and she realized that only someone who wasn't in their right mind would ever want to keep someone like Emily a secret. Anybody sane would be proud to tell everyone they knew about this amazing person they were with. And this was what JJ intended to do. "Listen, I was planning on visiting my family back in Pennsylvania over the weekend. Would you… would you like to go with me?"

"Only if you're sure you wanna take me." Emily replied, knowing what a big step it would be for JJ. "I don't wanna push you."

"You're not." JJ smiled and looked deep into Emily's brown eyes. "I just think it's high time they met the love of my life." JJ kissed Emily's lips softly. "She's pretty extraordinary, you know?"

"Looks like you really lucked out with her." Emily grinned, pulling JJ closer to her and she could see the blonde giggle a little.

"I most certainly did." JJ smiled as she wrapped her arms around Emily tightly and pulled her into an embrace. She breathed in Emily's scent, enjoying the warmth of Emily's arms around her. And she knew that if she had anything to say about this, this was the woman she was going to spend the rest of her life with, making sure every single person she met knew exactly how amazing Emily was and how much she loved her.

THE END


End file.
